Say YES to NO! – and Reclaim Your Focus | S2E013

If someone else is available to do it, or can do it better than you just say, No, this is a problem for really skilled people who often are told but you know, you do this so well, we need you to do it. Or sometimes we don't trust that other people can do things as well as we think we can do them. This is a big challenge for new leaders who are really exceptional in the end the technical side of a department or a function and feel like they can do it best or that they should do it and they don't want to put any more on their team members. And then they are the ones that end up feeling overwhelmed and overworked. Oh another thought is if the investment of your time has really no payoff in terms of your current or future career goals, and holds no intrinsic personal will reward just say no. If you'll be miserable the whole time you're doing it, just say no. And if you'll hate yourself for agreeing to do it, just say no. Of course, this doesn't mean that we don't step up when there's a real need or that we don't help when it's necessary. This is about being more conscious about the activities, the demands, and the expectations that erode your focus your priorities, your productivity, and the sense of control over your life and your time. And this is also about reminding leaders who know and need much of this in their own lives, to be mindful of helping their team members with the caring, the empathy, and the solution focused coaching, when team members need to say no. Leaders in hybrid and remote environments have a particular challenge to be on alert for signs of distress, frustration, and disengagement that can result from the demands placed on their team members, many of whom are working remotely or in a hybrid environment. I call this listening between the lines, listening between the lines of what is said and what is written. This requires really a more concentrated effort at really hearing and listening for those signs of concern and frustration and, and worry and exasperation. And then leaders must be proactive in responding to those calls for support and calls for help, which may mean giving permission to saying no, and working to find solutions, that that meet the needs of both the team member, the whole team and the organization. When there's a culture that supports saying no, it guides people to say no gently and offer reasons why you can't help or take on more work or volunteer for another project. exploring alternative ways to achieve the desired outcome keeps the focus on positive problem resolution. And often there's a good and viable and sometimes better solution. As you think about your own stop doing list, and opportunities, you have to say no. Here are a few final thoughts I'll leave with you and some action steps to get started on your stop doing list. The first is to remember to assess the activities or projects or demands or expectations or opportunities you're involved in over the demands you face. And consider which ones are appropriate, useful, essential or enjoyable. It's also important to reevaluate your willingness to continue involvement based on your assessment and determine if any of them should just be cleared off your plate or altered in such a way that they take less time or demand less energy. I would encourage you to think about what steps you can take now to begin uninvolved in yourself in anything that should really be on your stop doing list. And finally, I would encourage you to Promise yourself that in the future, you'll commit to a more rigorous analysis. before committing to one more thing. Consider the pros and cons. And think clearly about whether the demands on your time are a half to a one, two, or a need to investment of your time